A lie is a lie...or is it? Yes, it's still a lie.

My beautiful, green eyed, wild haired, angelic Saharra (Age 6) is a hard core fibber. No. Please tell me you're joking. Someone so sweet and precious...Listen, I understand how difficult this is for you to hear, but it's true. Her daddy and I can catch her doing something and ask her about it and she will swear to the death she didn't do it. Why you ask? Well, I'm working on figuring that out. But part of it began with me. I was encouraging her to lie simply by my accusatory tone and my angry face. Would you want to tell this the truth?

Ok. So that's Michelle Obama, not me, but you get the picture. She's looking down, eyebrows raised, lips pursed, etc. My precious child was afraid of me. Do not read into this. She's safe and well taken care of. But if someone taller than you is looking down at you with a mad face, I'd be wanting to resolve the issue quickly myself and move along. This prompted the lies. Quick, efficient, no further discussions required and moving along. So she thought. It really only escalated the problem. But since then here's how I have changed:

* I sit in the floor and ask that she sit in front of me to talk to her.
* I am very aware of my facial expressions.
* I do not cross my arms.
* Sometimes I hold her hand (She's not touchy feely so she has to accept it)
* I do not raise my voice.

Here's where the judgements from all of the great, wise parents who have come before me will come. I bargain with her. What?! Oh yes. I do. "Saharra, before you say anything to answer mommy, if you tell me the truth, you will only have to do ____ but if you lie to mommy, then it will be _____." I am letting her know that the choice she's about to make will decide her punishment for her. It usually gets the truth. Does that mean I have it all figured out? No. I never will. That's just what works for us. But I so desperately want to teach my child how to make good judgements and how to tell the truth that I'm willing to try anything for her.

Leviticus 19:11 ESV ...;you shall not lie to one another.
Thank you God for showing us your commandments and helping me change so that I can show my children how to keep them.

So for now. We are helping Saharra see that it's still a lie if she tells one and there are consequences for that but I'm trying extra hard to make sure I'm not forcing her hand.