For better or worse, In sickness and health....

What's love got to do, got to do, with it? What's love, but a second hand emotion. I love me some Tina Turner. But she was flat wrong on this one. Love has everything to do with making a marriage last. Celebrating my 10 year anniversary today is proof of that. These 10 years with my husband have been the best of times and the worst of times. But mostly the best. We celebrated the true unity of his children and me with our marriage in 2005.

Then we grieved pure loss of his job at Wilkes Tool and everything we had worked so hard for. We celebrated God opening that door of loss to show him that he should go back to school and become a barber. We honored God's vision and he went back to school. It was so difficult that most people don't know we had to live separately for a while to even make ends meet. (No folks, we weren't separated, his parent's home and my grandparent's home couldn't accommodate us all). We saw each other most evenings after work and spent the weekends together. Divorce was never an option for us. When we said our vows, we said "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health". We didn't say "Only for better until it gets hard, only while we have a lot of money, and only while we're both healthy". Living separately only lasted about a month until we could get some debts paid off and find a place we could all move into. Jerry completed barber school and worked in Lenoir for a year. Then came time to take another leap of faith with God's guidance and open Hud's Barber Shop. God always provides when you follow his direction and give him the glory. We took foster parent classes soon after and made the decision to adopt. Again seeking God with this decision. My job at Wachovia closed and I became a stay at home mother to our beautiful foster children and God paved the way. Fast forward to 2015 Jerry's business is booming, we have adopted three beautiful children, our other two  gorgeous children are grown, we are stronger than ever in our faith, our marriage has God at the head of it and divorce never was even in the hard times and never will be an option for us. Love is a feeling but it is more a decision. You decide to love. There are days I don't feel like getting up but I do. There are days I get up and I don't feel like "feeling" but I decide to. I'm not saying we have it all figured out, and we certainly aren't perfect, but we haven't had the easiest road and we've made it. If more people would decide to love and decide to stay committed, their outcome might be a little different too.

The first day I met my youngest son.

I was driving home from my mom and dad's house. It was already getting dark and my cell phone rang. It was Melissa Hutchens from DSS giving me one of the best gifts my family would ever receive, it just took a long time to get to the good ending. "Hello". "Beth, we have two boys that need placement. One is 4 months old and one is 3 years old. Can you take them"? I said absolutely without hesitation-some would think I was nuts because we already had a 4 year old girl and 3 year old boy. Here is the baby that we met that evening in November 2012.

He was tiny, he smelled like smoke, his face was covered in eczema and his crystal blue eyes were cloudy, but it was love at first sight. He has double crowns so his hair grew in a baby Mohawk. A good bath for him and his brother and they fit right in. The "twins" as I called them because they were both 3 (Mauri and C) baby powdered the living room, wrote with string cheese on the front door, turned over the Christmas tree, and put all the DVDs inside the TV, just to name a few things. John-Blake continued to grow and thrive and gain weight. He learned to eat baby food and get on a good eating schedule. Saharra was enjoying having a real life baby doll to play with and help with. Then the phone call came that shattered us. "The case has been moved to a different county and they dismissed it. The children are returning home". Devastation ensued. There were many tears. I had said all along with all belief that God would not take away the children I was supposed to adopt and I had the adoption feeling with these two. So why was this happening?! We kept open communication with the mother and father. The mother and children lived with us for two weeks. We shared in his first birthday. We really had shared parenting down pat so that we could continue to be part of their lives. They came and went 5 different times. But each time the mother put more emphasis on us keeping John Blake forever. The struggle was hard on our family. It was hard on our marriage. God wouldn't let me let this family go. In Jerry's heartache, he was done. I wanted to protect my heart too, but God kept telling me to trust Him. This was the difficult part on our marriage. Sometimes God only tells one spouse. It's all part of trusting, obeying, being one with your spouse. Jerry had to trust me as much as I was trusting God. Whew. It was hard. But we made it. 

Jerry received a phone call in September 2013 from the mother that said "I can't do this anymore. Your son is coming home". We went and picked him up that very evening, signed and filed the adoption paperwork and Mr. Johnathon Blake Hudler has never looked back. We still keep up with C. He is well taken care of by his MiMi who we love dearly. Happy 3rd Birthday, my precious son. We've come a long way from the first day we met, but I knew then that it was love at first sight. God has a way of preparing the heart if we listen and trust and hold on and believe. It's not always easy, in fact, it almost never is, but here's proof, that good things come from following God's direction.

Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Wedding bells are ringing.

To start this off, I'm back from my very long hiatus from blogging. I had a very intense surgery, then some minor complications, then we travelled, then the wedding...busy busy. But, we're back by popular demand.

It started out as a very exciting day. May 29th 2015. This was marked as the rehearsal to my younger sister's wedding, but it was also the day my brother's children would meet my children in person for the first time. Now one would think that we would have maybe planned a day ahead for their meeting but we like to really take things by chance and live in the moment. My children and I arrive at the beautiful vineyard full of rocks and water and dirt. Where they are to remain clean and calm. With two boys. And it was hot. Am I painting a clear enough set up here? Then the cousins arrive. My three children and my brother's two scatter like cockroaches. They head down to a pond (no children are obviously allowed there and that's the first place they go). There are too many for us to keep up with. All the authoritative people are in the wedding party and are being called to line up and start practice. Gigi, Pawpaw, Me, Uncle Josh (daddy to two of them) and my children's father had not arrived yet. I called in a panic "Honey, where are you" Jerry: "Are they doing construction work there"? Me: "Um, no. That's John Blake and Bear beating a metal trash can with a stick".  Then I hear Mauri say "Mommy, I'm going to throw up". We did get them still long enough for a photo op. But you can see devil horns are out, mouths are wide open, silly faces are happening and Mauri's head is an armrest.

I finally get my daddy's belt and dare my three children to move until their daddy gets there.

Fast forward until wedding day. Saturday, May 30th, 2015. Again, it was outside, hot and there was red dirt that the kids could play with in their black suits before the wedding. If it were not for Kayla Williams coming along, I would have been more of a nervous wreck than I was. She helped maintain my children while I did bridesmaid duties. 

As I was scrolling through my sister's wedding pictures, Lauren Waterhouse captured this gem right here.

The children from left to right: Saharra is prim and proper, Sanae has her tongue out, Mauri is looking for a place to run, Bear's hair is wild and his eyes closed because John Blake the sneaky snake has pushed him at the perfect moment. 

Not to take away from the wedding with the silliness, it was a gorgeous wedding. I was honored to be a part of my sister's special day. She and Kevin are perfect for each other. I've gotten to see them stay together through college, see the engagement and now the wedding. So to the newly weds, I wish you a life of joy, happiness, good communication and children who are not nearly as wild as your nieces and nephews.