I do not live in a Magical Kingdom.

As I sit back and read some of the glorious Facebook and Twitter posts of others, I (whisper) envy them. They seem to live in some sort of Magical Kingdom.
-Their childrens' clothing is pristine.
-Their family is always happy.
-They seem to have lost weight after birthing 5 children (I gained from adopting 3).
I can just envision birds helping them fold the laundry and other wildlife creatures helping with chores like they do in the Princess Fairy Tales.
Then there's my life. I do not live in a Magical Kingdom.

Those are laundry baskets full of clean clothes and there's more in the drier. Where are MY birds?! 

Now let me ask you this. Do you willingly compare your child to other children? Most likely the answer is, "No". For example; "Saharra, your friend ______ keeps making 100 on their spelling test. Why can't you be like her?" No, I don't do that to my child!!! Then why do we constantly tear ourselves down, as mothers, with comparisons? I was finding myself feeling guilty for being a GOOD mother. How ridiculous is that? I was feeling guilty because I couldn't be as crafty with my children as her, or as pretty while mothering as her, or I'm sure she never loses her temper. Meanwhile, I was still keeping three precious children fed and alive. Those are two great feats themselves. They are happy to have me as their mother and love me unconditionally. Even when I fail. If I don't accept comparisons for my children then I'm not going to accept them for myself either. I'm going to look at my own life. I can only be me. And that's good enough for my babies. I am blessed beyond measure if I will stop comparing what I have, need, want, etc, to someone else.

Psalm 40:5 ESV You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and thoughts towards us; none can COMPARE with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.

Thank you God, for your many blessings. Thank you for helping turn my eyes from comparing myself to others and realizing that no one can compare with you.

'Cause I'm a Cowboy, Baby!

(Singing) I've got my guns a blazin' and the sunshine shinin'. Yes. Be appalled. Very appalled. That was to the tune of a 1998 released Kid Rock song. And every time I see my boys dressed as cowboys, the song plays in my head. At any rate, here is my wild cowboy. His mouth agape, screaming, running and firing both guns at the same time. John Blake (Age 2). He will be 3, May 25th.

He makes no secrets to the way he feels. If he is sad, he tells me, if I make him mad, he tells me that too. He's one little ball of honest, Herculean strength, boy. All boy. John Blake can unlock and open any door, carry anything you think he can't, and almost wrestle away from me. He's STRONG. But he also has the most precious little loving heart I've ever seen in a child of his age. He ran into the arms of an older (Age 70s) gentleman sitting on a bench in the cantina area at Sam's and hugged him and kissed him because "I just wanted to div him some wuvins mommy". The look on that precious man's face changed for the better and he told Jerry and I that John Blake had made his day. John Blake has done similar things for others numerous times. I'm constantly wary of strangers. Stranger Danger and keeping my children safe. But aren't we called to spread love? If God can use my 2 year old son, then surely I can stop letting fear be my excuse. Within reason folks. I'm not saying to approach strangers in dark alleys and parking decks where you could be kidnapped, but how about you just acknowledge someone new today? How about you look up instead of at your phone while you're walking? And see who we may be able to smile at or see frowning and hug. Or even better, see an opportunity to witness to. 

Romans 12:9 ESV Let love be genuine...

Romans 12:10 ESV Love one another with brotherly affection...

Thank you God for showing me, through my child, how to love unconditionally. God bless my little cowboy.

A lie is a lie...or is it? Yes, it's still a lie.

My beautiful, green eyed, wild haired, angelic Saharra (Age 6) is a hard core fibber. No. Please tell me you're joking. Someone so sweet and precious...Listen, I understand how difficult this is for you to hear, but it's true. Her daddy and I can catch her doing something and ask her about it and she will swear to the death she didn't do it. Why you ask? Well, I'm working on figuring that out. But part of it began with me. I was encouraging her to lie simply by my accusatory tone and my angry face. Would you want to tell this the truth?

Ok. So that's Michelle Obama, not me, but you get the picture. She's looking down, eyebrows raised, lips pursed, etc. My precious child was afraid of me. Do not read into this. She's safe and well taken care of. But if someone taller than you is looking down at you with a mad face, I'd be wanting to resolve the issue quickly myself and move along. This prompted the lies. Quick, efficient, no further discussions required and moving along. So she thought. It really only escalated the problem. But since then here's how I have changed:

* I sit in the floor and ask that she sit in front of me to talk to her.
* I am very aware of my facial expressions.
* I do not cross my arms.
* Sometimes I hold her hand (She's not touchy feely so she has to accept it)
* I do not raise my voice.

Here's where the judgements from all of the great, wise parents who have come before me will come. I bargain with her. What?! Oh yes. I do. "Saharra, before you say anything to answer mommy, if you tell me the truth, you will only have to do ____ but if you lie to mommy, then it will be _____." I am letting her know that the choice she's about to make will decide her punishment for her. It usually gets the truth. Does that mean I have it all figured out? No. I never will. That's just what works for us. But I so desperately want to teach my child how to make good judgements and how to tell the truth that I'm willing to try anything for her.

Leviticus 19:11 ESV ...;you shall not lie to one another.
Thank you God for showing us your commandments and helping me change so that I can show my children how to keep them.

So for now. We are helping Saharra see that it's still a lie if she tells one and there are consequences for that but I'm trying extra hard to make sure I'm not forcing her hand.

Perception. It's all in the way you look at it.

Since seeing the movie "Moms' Night Out", I felt God tugging on me to write about my family's story.

Side bar: Moms, if you haven't seen that movie, please take the time to watch it. And if you have seen it, watch it again. It will make you feel appreciated and will speak volumes to a ragged, tired, weary body and heart.

My family doesn't have the "typical" fairy tale beginning. But who decides what's typical. Maybe we're the normal ones. (That's the hysterics part to all of this. There's nothing normal about us. I wouldn't have it any other way though.)

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. They've not all been good years. They've been HARD. What?! You mean these are not going to be rose colored glass stories? No. Because that's not real life. We had good times, but we had bad times too leading up to this point and it's okay to share that. If you don't share truths, how can God use your testimony for His glory?

We now have a total of 5 children. Two are my step children (I would completely claim them if I could) and 3 beautiful adopted children. We chose to adopt through foster care. We have had over 13 foster children total - some have been for no more than a night, but God wanted us to cross paths regardless.

Now, let's get to the heart of the first blog post.

Full of energy is a perfect description for both of our boys. Mauri (Age 5) wakes up literally bouncing like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. He has springs in his feet. But it's not just that. His mouth has a motor that will not stop and he typically will run sprints through the house. Now to the typical outsider it looks like the child would need medication. Hyper, ADHD, etc. We've even had concerns ourselves and have to remind him to "calm down" numerous times. Privately Jerry and I have discussed talking to the doctor about medication or alternatives because of how rambunctious he gets. He seriously cannot even eat without wiggling. The "wilder" he gets, the "wilder" John Blake (Age almost 3) gets. John Blake's outlet is to throw things. Usually at his brother. More specifically, his head. It's just a snow ball effect.

Yesterday as Jerry and I were having a discussion (we don't like to call them arguments), he said something that really hit home with me. He said "Mauri wakes up in a fantastic mood every morning and we try to take that away from him. I wish I woke up in half as good a mood as he does." I cried. I bawled. I owe my son and hug and an apology today because only today could I keep my composure and not be a sobbing basket case.

My husband and I had been making a mistake. There are times like at the dinner table when we need to use good manners and be still, but if he wants to bounce to the beat of his happy little drum in the mornings, who am I to stop him? And why should I try? What is he hurting? As long as the dynamic is staying happy and not overtly wild, then I am the one that needs to change, not him. Perception folks. It's all in the way you look at it. God calls us to be joyful. And my son sure has a lot of joy.
Psalm 30:5 ESV ...but joy comes in the morning.
Thank you God for showing me that my son's joy in the morning is not something I should try to squash, but should embrace and realize he truly has a child like faith. My children show me daily how much I fail and all I can do is hug them and start again tomorrow.